


What Matters

by Raelynn



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Sherlock, F/M, Fluff, Molly Is Patient, discussions, starting a story in the middle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3760984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raelynn/pseuds/Raelynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story title taken from the Edwin McCain song, "What Matters".</p><p>Asexual Sherlock and Molly in a relationship.  Originally conceived as a multi chapter piece but the more I think about it the more I'm happy with it where it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Matters

She stopped crying the moment she heard his footsteps on the stairs. She frantically swiped at her cheeks, knowing there was no way she’d be able to hide her tears from him. He was Sherlock Holmes, if she’d stopped crying three hours ago, he’d still be able to tell she had been crying.

Sighing, she closed her eyes and lay in the bed, waiting. He hadn’t expected to be back from Cardiff tonight. No text to her; he’d probably hoped his early return would be a welcome surprise. It was, in general, but she would have been far more careful with her emotions if she’d known he was arriving.

She heard him come into the flat, and then he poked his head into the bedroom. “You’re still awake,” he said, after a moment of listening to her breathing.

“I am,” she said, sitting up against the headboard. “How was Cardiff?”

Sherlock pulled off his suit jacket and tossed it over the open door of the wardrobe and made his way over to the bed. Leaning over to drop a kiss on her lips, he opened his mouth and then shut it again, his eyes adjusting to the dark.

He stood back up, looking down at her. “You’ve been crying.”

It wasn’t an accusation, just an observation, but Molly took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“Care to share why?”

“I don’t want you to feel like it’s your fault.”

“Ah.” he said, walking around the bed and sitting down next to her. “So it is. Whether or not you want it to be.”

“No,” said Molly, trying to gather her thoughts. “It’s not.” She reached out from under the blankets, depositing the small blue vibrator onto the nightstand. Sherlock watched quietly, nodded, and then spoke.

“We’ve talked about this, Molly,” he said gently, reaching over to run his hands down her arm. “I told you if our...arrangement did not suit your needs, that I wouldn’t blame you for leaving. You are a sexual creature, with a drive beyond average, and I’m…” he trailed off, staring off into space. “Me.”

Molly turned to him, shifting on the bed so she sat cross-legged, facing him. “You are you, and you are who I fell in love with.”

“I’ve suggested you see other people, if that would suit your needs…” he began, but she cut him off. 

“Sherlock, if it were sex I missed, I might take you up on that. If I didn’t feel like our relationship was enough for me, I’d leave.”

They sat silent for a moment. Sherlock spoke again. “We...we could, you know. I mean, I’m capable. It’s not something I particularly enjoy, but I don’t find it repellent, either. I want you to be happy.”

Molly reached out, pressing a finger to his lips. “Sherlock, if that happens, I want it to be because you want it, not because you feel like I won’t be happy if you don’t. I don’t ever want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with when it comes to me. Ever. When this started, you explained to me that sex was not something you were interested in. I accept that. I do.”

She closed her eyes and took a breath. “It’s not sex itself I miss. It’s more that sex is lovely, and there are times I’m going to be sad because I can’t share that with you. Sex with someone else will not give me what I want. Leaving you and finding someone else will not give me that. But I will occasionally be sad that I can’t have it. But never, ever doubt for a moment that I’m not exactly where I want to be. But yes, there are times I am sad, and tonight was one of them. I try not to burden you with it because I don’t want you to feel exactly how you’re feeling right now.”

She looked up into his eyes, willing him to understand. Willing him to understand that this sacrifice, this thing that she had let go of to have him, was a sacrifice she’d made because loving him was worth it. 

Sherlock smiled a sad smile at her, and tugged her toward him, curling her up beneath his arm. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “I wish things were different, Molly. I wish I could give you everything you want. I am constantly afraid that someday it won’t be enough for you. So if there are times I get worried, please bear with me. We are both trying to figure this out. I will try to accept your sadness for what it is, and not fear that it means you’ll leave, if you’ll accept me for who I am.”

Molly snuggled in closer. “We’re right where we should be, Sherlock. I love you.”


End file.
